The Mid-Week Slump

Yesterday was the first morning I woke up feeling stressed, as though reality had finally set in and I was no longer on vacation. I finished and printed my packet for the hippie shop job, ran over there after some fits and starts, and then ran back home to completely shift gears: I put on makeup, put my hair in a clip, and put on my tweed suit and black pumps. I didn't make it to the job fair on time, but since it was four hours long, I didn't think I'd miss anything substantial. Well, it turned out that I may have been better for it because downtown was absolutely mobbed, and the Daily Star said it was even worse before the thing officially opened: http://www.azstarnet.com/sn/biz-topheadlines/277799

It took me at least a half an hour to finally get into a parking space and get inside, and then it took some time waiting in line just to get into the event. When I finally broke free into the convention center's main floor, it was like trying to walk through a crowded dance club. The companies and agencies there really reflected the depressed economy, particularly Tucson's brand of it: For-profit adult-education trade colleges, call centers, grocery stores, convenience stores, bank teller jobs, military recruiting, vocational rehab and training programs, and social services. There was only one company that truly interested me and all they had to offer were skilled labor jobs, which I wish I could do but I don't have any training. So there was nary a job in sight that I could either perform or aspire to. Many, many people were not dressed in business clothing either. It was so busy that there were almost no opportunities for one-on-one conversations or interviews. I came away rather disgruntled at my wasted expensive resume paper, business cards, parking money, fuel, and time. On the way home, I called the neighborhood tea house to ask about applying, and when I got home, I changed my clothes, turned around, and went over there to pick up an application.

The crowning event of the day was a dressy, elaborate orientation up in the OV that I attended with Carl at his recommendation. We were surrounded by men in fancy suits and spiky hair, and women in high heels and makeup. We were glad we'd put on some nice clothes and that I'd left my makeup on. We learned all about a service that, honestly, I truly think is a good product and very reasonably priced. In fact, I'd heard of it a few months ago and have been considering purchasing it for myself since then. Carl is almost certain that he wants to take the plunge and invest in the materials with which to start selling, and though it makes me nervous, I believe in it enough that I support his inclination to try it.

As of the end of today, I still have no job and no unemployment benefits, and I have doubts that I'll be granted any benefits. I started the day by driving down to the Microbusiness Advancement Center to attend their weekly orientation and only found out that the event had been cancelled. So I headed towards home and turned in my teahouse application on the way. I have doubts about that as well because of my response to "reason for leaving". I think I gave too much negative information. After calling the contact at the appealing affiliate program I discovered a few days ago, I went down to the University to walk in and out of a few buildings and check bulletin boards. I turned up very little except for the name of an advisor in the School of Natural Resources with whom I could speak about starting as a full-time non-traditional undergraduate student. I found that out by walking into the main office of that building and enduring the frowns of the ladies behind the counter as I explained my situation. Eventually I made it home and turned around to go back with Carl to the Microbusiness Advancement Center for their 5:30 orientation. I came away from that feeling more torn than ever: resume school full-time, launch a business, or keep trying for a day job that is likely to be unfulfilling and only delay my goals further? I need something to happen that will push me in one direction or the other, and preferably not in the unfulfilling-job direction. And I need some money, damnit! I'm dyin' here.

No longer calling them "anti-unemployment" measures because I'm so torn between running a business and working for the Man.

So I went to the neighborhood teahouse to sniff around and see if I'd want to work there, and I concluded that I would, but am skittish about going ahead with it because of potentially either quitting prematurely to take a "real" job or shutting out a "real" job altogether due to the required hours. I think I'll call them tomorrow for the heck of it to ask about the job anyway. I'll call the jewelry shop too and see if they still need someone.

From there I went over to the University and, as directed by neighbor M, went up to the third floor of the School of Natural Resources and, as promised, found a job board. In fact, as I descended the stairs to leave the building, I found a few boards of interesting information at each landing and jotted down several things. Hopefully something will materialize.

This evening we went to visit our 4th Avenue friend and while in that neighborhood, I observed a "Help Wanted" sign in the door of the local hippie head shop. After we came home, I called them to ask about it and was told to create my own job application, since they seek creative types. The most logical thing I could come up with was a multi-page packet containing an abbreviated resume on a background of my own design (see the photo posted with today's first entry), plus a few pages of other creative photos and graphic designs. I have no idea if it's what they want, but I'm going to turn it in anyway because their scheduling is so flexible that if they actually hired me, I could moonlight there a couple of evenings a week while still looking for a "real" job. I do wish I could re-brand myself as an artist, though. I don't know how people do it. I just can't stop fantasizing about running a craft center and tool lending library while selling artwork and maybe moonlighting at an artsy place one day a week. I figure that logically, the natural resources thing and art thing aren't mutually exclusive, but when it comes to finding an immediate solution, the art thing is proving more accessible. I don't know which, if either, is a better path, but I do take seriously the results of a career aptitude test I once took a few years ago: it told me I was supposed to be a sculptor. I don't think that's the least bit far-fetched other than as an economic reality. I guess whichever pans out first will be my primary concern and the other path will support it.

Now, let's not forget about the job fair tomorrow, which I'm still not ready for! Thank goodness it's not until two in the afternoon.

Survival Ideas for Today

Someone responded to my Craig's List ad for lemons, so rather than setting them out again on the sidewalk, I left him a voicemail and an email to arrange for a pickup of a bulk quantity of lemons. I had to admit that the lemons are of the "rough" variety, lumpy and unevenly colored (and "rough" is an actual variety), so he may be turned off, but the lemons are perfectly good and last year I used them as I would the nicer-looking Lisbon and Meyer varieties that are available in stores. Hopefully he'll still want them and I can make about $16 that way at $4 per plastic shopping bag (bulk discount from the 25 cents apiece I was looking for). Someone emailed me about knitting lessons, but I had to confess that I can only teach rudiments and that, based on her skill level, she'd be better off with someone closer to the Master Knitter stage of expertise. If I could just find a way to make a residual income and thus free up lots of time for education, I'd go ahead and sign up for the Craft Yarn Council's courses and become a certified Master Knitter and teacher. I finally heard from the folks at DesertUSA and am going to look over my photo essay one more time and submit it. Hopefully it'll be good enough for publishing and earn me $200. When I finally get out the door, I'll be going down to the U of A to sniff around and then to that Sam Hughes teahouse to see if it's a place I'd want to work and if they're even still hiring. Then Carl and I will be finishing the day with a trip across town to pick up some scrap wood that I can turn into artwork and sell at the Swap Meet, at the Myriad, and on Etsy. I'll also figure out a way to spread the word about my being an affiliate of AAA Native Arts and maybe people would want to buy some of that merchandise. Yes, conspicuously absent from all of this is a job search. I'm not ignoring that completely, I'm still going to research the companies that will be attending tomorrow's job fair and I have to go down to the unemployment office today anyway to turn in paperwork. It's just that I need some quick cash because to do nothing while searching for a job will make things worse, I'm pretty sure. Also conspicuously absent is schoolwork. I'll be checking on that too, don't worry. For now, though, I'm getting my arse out the door to start all of this activity.

Today's Efforts

1. Set out this silly thing on the sidewalk in front of my house. Didn't sell a thing and now I have a ton of lemons that need to be dealt with ASAP before they go bad.

2. Applied for a job at the Target Distribution Center in Rita Ranch. Faced humbling questions about what my most recent employer would have to say about my work ethic and attitude. Probably not going to hear from them based on the one bad job experience on my resume.

3. Discovered that the Local Harvest Market has a very laid-back farmers' market daily with its most popular day being Saturday. Still need to speak with store manager, but it sounds like I could just show up with merch and camp out for a few hours on a Saturday.

4. Resolved to gather up old goods, crafts, etc. and set up shop with Carl on Saturday at the Swap Meet.

5. Called person who posted Craig's List ad for a paid study. Didn't hear anything yet.

Wham! Another door slams and leaves me without income.

Yesterday seemed to hold so much promise: I submitted an application to have my artwork reviewed by a local shop, said shop held a reception last night, and I got a call from someone who had a job opening. I even found a merchandise affiliate program that I could actually believe in. As I looked around art galleries and drank wine out on the town, I fantasized about getting by and even doing well just by being an artsy-fartsy type. Then today I got the rejection call from the gem show people and I'm having doubts about my art submission. I want to somehow survey the market and find out if people would be interested in the merchandise sold by the affiliate program, and I'm afraid I won't get any responses. One glimmer of hope, though, is that I talked to my neighbor M about job postings at the University in his department, the School of Natural Resources, and he told me how to find the job board and has started forwarding me emails that he gets that contain job opps, scholarships, internships, and the like. I guess I'd better get those lemons picked and set out in the driveway, and I'd better finish up my craft projects and get them posted already. Nickels and dimes are still income.

Anti-Unemployment Day-End Review

1. Interviewed with temp agency that originally placed me at my last job, made sure that they knew that they were the ones who placed me there, and partially explained my termination. Don't know how much that could hurt my chances.

2. Visited with former client to see how they were doing and was told that maybe, just maybe, they could use my help with some of their work. Expressed interest in this and left my contact information.

3. Found last-minute gem show gig and called and left message, according to instructions in ad. Hoping that I get it because it would be decent money and a chance to meet interesting people.

4. Received email rejection note from U of A about the School of Natural Resources job. Wonder if it was my firing or something else that triggered such a quick response. I thought my cover letter and education would surely win them over.

Starting to despair over this whole thing ...

Networking, and I feel better established than I have before.

Working in the business of people and clients and vendors does have its upside as a networking advantage. After going to the temp agency this morning, I realized I was in the same neighborhood as a former client of my last employer. This quirky New Age-oriented client had greatly fascinated me and I'd always wished that I could get to know them better, particularly the girl my age who ran the retail arm of the organization. I thought I'd stop in and see what they were up to and how everyone was. The administrative assistant was the only one in the office, but I'm acquainted with her and the founders on a first-name basis, so I was happy to see her and chat. She invited me to settle in with a cup of tea and got caught up on things, including my new employment status. She actually mentioned that sometimes she has too much work and that there really should be someone to concentrate on coordinating research efforts for their metaphysical mission, and it was just a thought but might I be interested? I stayed low-key but assured her that, yes, while it's just a thought right now, I'd be very interested in helping out if they so desired. We exchanged contact information and when the time was right, I left. The truth is, I'd wondered what it would be like to work for them even just a few months into my tenure at my last job, so I would be very pleased to do whatever they'd want me to do. It would be an extremely unique organization to work for, at the least.

Okay, a few more shameless plugs and then it's way past my bedtime.

http://fethernutter.etsy.com
http://brainonfire.mosaicglobe.com

Summary of Anti-Unemployment Measures Taken Today.

1. Applied for unemployment benefits at the nearest unemployment office. Began an online resume with their system there; need to go back and finish.

2. Called temp agency with whom I've recently been in contact and left a message requesting an appointment. Left message at Manpower next.

3. Contacted entrepreneurial acquaintance for inspiration for starting a business. Spoke to her significant other in person this afternoon with promises to get in touch later.

4. Called DesertUSA yet again to only be turned away by incessantly ringing phone, yet again. If I could just ask a human being a frickin' question, I could send them my photo essay and possibly make $200! Gah!

5. Registered for Jobing.com job fair on Tuesday the 27th. Yeah, timing!

6. Posted Craig's List ad for rudimentary knitting lessons.

7. Called as many nearby temp agencies as I could reach. Mixed results ranging from an immediate, friendly request for a resume, to being informed of a waiting list. Talked to agency that originally sent me to last employer and arranged to go in tomorrow morning. I won't give them too much of an earful, but I think I will tell them that yet another one bit the dust at that company and they should take the hint.

8. Went out with Carl to post business cards for resume proofing in strategic spots along 4th Avenue. Kept eyes open for job openings at quirky businesses along the avenue. Noticed that the "help wanted" sign had been removed from my favorite clothing store (bummer). Bumped into a couple of busking, gem-show attending hippie guys and wished I could be as free as them. Couldn't help noticing applications prominently displayed at Circle K near house and imagined living the "Clerks" life.

9. Sought out temporary gem show gigs in hopes of meeting all kinds of hippies while selling cool gemstones. Dreamed about being out there in dreadlocks and a broomstick skirt and thought about 6-day-old job posting I saw on Craig's List. May check into it, maybe not. Hoped that manager of downtown import shop will call me to discuss working as a jewelry assembler (already sent resume yesterday).

10. Received email notification that my score on the questionnaire section of the application for the National Park Service job I want wasn't high enough. No soup for me! Just another federal rejection letter, but still disappointing.

11. Made the rounds of the Arizona and New Mexico Craig's Lists, usual other job search engines (Monster, Careerbuilder, etc.). Nothing.

12. Tried employment pages of local college websites and cursed the fact that the concentration of schools here is the opposite of the million colleges all over Massachusetts. Then, a spark of hope: a part-time, temporary admin assistant position with the U of A's School of Natural Resources/Sonoran Desert Research Station! Absolutely the lowest on the totem pole, but a possible foot in the door! I created a new cover letter and special resume just for the position and got my application in immediately.

And now it's almost eleven at night and I'm brain-fried and the house is a nasty mess. I'm signing off for now after this action-packed day and will return tomorrow after visiting the temp agency.

Guerilla capitalism and the "bottomfeeder".

Here's a very interesting, rambling, quirky Internet resource for avoiding working for the establishment and thriving on little: www.masterjules.net/index6.htm

I've been reading Anita Sands Hernandez' webpages for months now and I'm glad I did. I'll be revisiting them and hopefully implementing some ideas, though ultimately I may end up working at a regular job, especially if I intend to pursue my education and make something of it.

Another, much more mainstream and clean-cut resource is www.StevePavlina.com.

Happy reading!

Release the penguins!

Anyone out there familiar with "Faeries Aire and Death Waltz"? What an unpleasant title. It's a fake piece of music circulated among musicians as a joke that is full of absurd passages and cues that don't exist in real life. One of these cues reads "Release the penguins!" That's how I feel about my sudden opportunity to unleash all manner of crackpot schemes in hopes that one of them could prove financially lucrative. Behold my latest business cards.

FIRED.

So begins my umpteenth Internet presence. I think at this point anyone can search for my name on Google and find myriad extensions of my real-world existence all over the web.

Anyway, again,

FIRED.

As a result of conspiracy, the inherent witchiness of an office of mostly women, downsizing, or what have you, at eight o'clock Mountain Standard Time this morning I was summarily

FIRED.

This is the first time that this has ever happened to me and for my whole two years there, I wondered when it would be my turn. I managed to survive turnover and even got promoted. Then someone was laid off, I ended up with the workload of at least one and a half people, couldn't keep up, and was offered little support and no performance feedback until it was almost too late. I made an effort to turn things around, in spite of burnout, and just when I thought I was in the clear, I was turned loose this morning and refused an explanation.

So begins a new chronicle of picking up the pieces. I've heard that people can make money off of their blogs, so what the heck, I thought I'd give it whirl. I haven't figured out what about it would generate income, but at the very least I needed a place to show off some artwork I created a few years ago when I was unemployed due to relocation. The cost of a paper 'zine will have to be avoided during unemployment, so I'll attempt a blog instead.