Groan.

So this morning, unbelievably, and against all of the odds, I was offered an internship with the BLM down in the Sierra Vista area. It had kind of dropped out of the running but when I got a call for an interview, I went ahead with it. The interview was very humbling and I thought surely that would be the end of the matter and I'd continue looking forward to school in August. I realize I must sound very foolish to say that I don't want to accept it, but it's just not as practical to me as school seems. I'd put off school for a year, not make any real money, give up my house and life in Tucson, spend a year traipsing around the woods of the San Pedro River watershed, and then what? If it was six months or less, I'd go for it, but a year seems like too long to put things off yet again. But, I'm not saying no just yet, I'll do some thinking first. Ugh, timing!

Dribs and drabs, and dare I say free time?

This week I've put in a couple of mini-shifts at the former client of my former employer, so that's cool, and honestly, I'm tickled to have the chance to help them out. While I was employed, I was always curious as to how it would be to work for them. I also got to say hi to the girl there my age who I find so intriguing, so it's been a good connection all-around. Yesterday afternoon I applied for an even gig that I didn't get, plus another conservation nonprofit job. I'm feeling creative today and have wasted all afternoon just goofing off and not producing anything or doing any homework. I hope this mood carries over to tomorrow so that I can think of a way to either make something to sell for money or to procure funding for Carl's project. I didn't get the Park Service internship, unsurprisingly, and there's no way I'll get the BLM one, but I'll keep looking around anyway.

Sorry for slacking.

I haven't had much to report lately. I'm still waiting for the results of applications and interviews to find out if there are any job prospects, and school is still up in the air. Tomorrow I might go apply to a new frozen yogurt place in the neighborhood just as a part-time gig. I'm a bit ambivalent about it because their classified ad described them as a "self-serve frozen yogurt concept", and when I looked up that phrase, I turned up results for places like Pinkberry. Pinkberry is intriguing but I always associate it with my snobby former coworkers who go shopping in places like Scottsdale and San Diego, which I believe are places where they tried Pinkberry and decided that it was the cool new place to go for fro-yo. Thus I'm wondering if I have to wear makeup and preppy clothes to apply for the job. I think I will and size up the interviewers in person to determine if it would be a worthy place to work.

In other news, if I didn't mention it already, I have an interview with the BLM on Thursday for an internship. There's been no word yet from the former client who wants me to work a few hours as an office assistant, and tomorrow is the deadline for the nonprofit job I applied to. The job landscape at the moment basically consists of either nothing good or a lot of waiting for rejection letters or interviews. Meanwhile, in the course of my job search, I've yet again encountered an ad that looks like it's for my former employer. This would be the third time or so that I've seen it posted on TucsonHelpWanted.com. They actually have the nerve to claim that they are a "stable" company! I hope they keep having to post that ad and never find someone who put up with them as long as I did.

Mmm, fro-yo ...I'm trying to convince myself not to go get some, but I'm on my way out to run errands and I think I may end up at least detouring for a smoothie if I have to have something. Maybe I'll have more to report by the end of the week.

Bullet dodged for now.

I had time to go to the nearest unemployment office today after my workshop, so I did so that I could clarify what the heck is going on with my claim. It was discovered that I cleared adjudication and I'm back on the payroll, thank the Universe. I still need to find employment, but at least it's not fully critical now.

Two pinpoints of light in the darkness.

First of all, I'm still in big trouble. I called the unemployment hotline at 7:58 this morning, two minutes before the thing is supposed to be open, and it was already hopelessly clogged. I tried every two minutes for about a half an hour and got nowhere.

The two minor positives mentioned in my title, however, are 1) my UA financial aid award is actually kinda sorta enough to live on for a school year without there being an absolutely critical need to work part-time or full-time. I misunderstood how much tuition is each year and it's less than I was thinking, so I should be covered. 2) Behold this random stroke of luck:


Click on the image to enlarge it and see what I'm talking about. Too bad the Amazon markup drove up the cost so much; I'll see if I can lower it through the publisher or something. Then you all (all one of you?) can buy it and enjoy lots of Arizona sunsets right on your own coffee table!

Insult to injury.

So I haven't received unemployment payments in a month, and it's taking its toll. Today, just to make me crazier over survival, DES sent me an email claiming that they hadn't yet received my unemployment claim for last week. I called the automated hotline and it said that they did receive it, and I confirmed this online too. Time to get up ass-early tomorrow and hope that maybe I can get through to someone who can help me in a useful way. This is terrible.

On top of it, my internet isn't working and multiple calls to all of Cox's customer service numbers have gone absolutely nowhere. I mean, I literally can't get through because all of their circuits are busy. So now I'm down at the U, working for a little while from their field of computer dreams (thank goodness for this place) and seeing if there are any jobs I can apply to this afternoon so that this day hasn't been a complete waste.

Oh, and one more thing related to computers and internet: My best friend called me to tell me that someone had hacked into my AIM account and sent him obscene messages. I quickly figured out exactly how this had happened and rushed downtown to the computer that it probably occurred on, fixed all of the AIM settings and changed my password to prevent it, and now I'm figuring out how to get the message out to the right people there that while I don't know who the culprit is, I know when they did it and where, and they need to know that they've been caught and I'm insulted. Carl suggested a likely perp who doesn't seem completely plausible, but the odds are good enough that I can't help but suspect him too.

So nothing is really going my way and I still have no income, and my savings is getting used up all the while. Yesterday I applied for a part-time telecommuting job, or at least I think it's workable from home, with the prominent alternative newspaper here, and I can't expect to hear anything for at least a week but of course I'm hoping. The, uh, "interesting" thing about getting that gig would be that I'd be back in contact with my former employer. That would be a great way to irritate them, though with them as a reference, I may well not get the job even regardless of my writing ability, which is a qualification they're looking for. Then it's still another two weeks until I hear about the non-profit job and almost three weeks until I hear about the internship. Something really has to give or I'm going to lose my house and have to move to Scottsdale.

Continuing desperation, contingency plans, unsolicited applications.

I'm down to filling out applications for store jobs whether they say they're hiring or not. I also saw an ad for newspaper carriers in certain Foothills and East Side ZIP codes and I called the hotline anyway. The woman on the other end took my information down but emphasized that a manager would rather hire me for my own ZIP code. Do they realize how small 85716 is?! I don't mind driving around those others! I've emailed myself tons of job ops and haven't had time to apply yet or follow up on other positions. Tomorrow is going to be busy to that end. I have the materials for a petition signature drive for which I can get paid up to $2 per signature with email address, but I'm doubting that I'll be able to overcome my shyness enough to make much money at that. Lastly, yesterday I actually had an interview at Saguaro National Park, which was exciting but revealed that I'm unlikely to land that internship. At least I got to get in front a staff member there, though. If by some miracle I were to be chosen, I'd have to defer school somewhat but even if I couldn't take any other classes for the semester, I could still register for internship credit, and that would be cool. Something needs to happen NOW, one way or the other.