Cardboard Furniture

Probably going on hiatus.

2009-10-03T00:59:00.003-07:00

If anyone out there has even ever read this blog, I wanted to let you know that I haven't posted anything in a while just because there has been little to post other than the ongoing struggle for money. My studies leave me no time just to relax, let alone time for a job. I'm still putting in my semi-monthly shift at the racetrack but that's all. If I happen to find an entertaining way to earn money, I'll report it here. For now, feel free to follow me over to LiveJournal, where you can find me at Surf Arizona. I've maintained my LiveJournal in various incarnations since about 2001 or 2002. I might change the name, I don't know; I just feel lately like I'm stuck on Rosacoke Street more than enjoying living in the desert. The URL is http://beth60.livejournal.com. However, please do continue to spend your money at the links you see on the right side of your screen. They're still valid and I still maintain them! Thanks!

Finally, I'm a real starving college student!

2009-08-24T22:39:00.004-07:00

So at last I've been to my first day of classes at the U and I also filed my final unemployment claim, the one in which I answered "yes" to the question at the end about whether or not I need to continue filing because I've found full-time work. Now I'm just busy worrying about stretching out my loan money for the next few months and getting scholarship applications submitted on time. The tone of this blog can finally be a positive one, or least one that's not endlessly depressing and hopeless. The cost of books and supplies is kicking my butt, of course, and I already dropped over $289 for just the first round of books before getting the last math book, my biology book, or my chemistry book. Thankfully, my bio teacher, "Dr. Ted", is very laid back and feels that "textbooks basically suck", so he advised the class to seek out the text for as cheaply as possible on the internet and not worry about having the latest version, the second edition is fine. So I just bought mine at Amazon for less than $30, including expedited shipping. Now to just meet my doom at the bookstore tomorrow for the other books. I also will need to very soon start cooking suppers ahead of time or bringing healthful convenience food (such as my favorite vegan minestrone soups and such) so that I don't repeat what I did today and cough up nine and a half bucks for a salad and a water at the health-food cafe in the student union. Anyway, I hope that this blog doesn't fall to the wayside, since college is a lean time for most people. I'll try to check in again before long.

Trying to learn to weather rejection like a telemarketer.

2009-08-14T22:33:00.004-07:00

I've had two interviews in a week and was rejected from both jobs. I can't help but take it personally. I did apply for another school job with the University's Herbarium but the opening doesn't close until September 1, so should I watch and wait or just apply to the sudden seemingly plentiful part-time jobs around town? Well, that was probably a foolish question, of course I should apply for the other jobs, I just hate to accept a food service job only to have the Herbarium offer me a position. At the rate that I'm going, it would seem that I could expect a prompt rejection, but you never know, and I can't see what could possibly disqualify me from that one anyway, especially after the cover letter that I wrote, which should explain anything on my resume that could be problematic. I suppose I should file some applications and then go to the campus job fair on the 26th. I also really need to step up the scholarship applications. It seems that scholarships have even steeper odds, but if no employer will have me because I'm overqualified in the wrong areas or I'm too old, or whatever the f*** they have a problem with, it would be nice to think that I still have a chance to plead my case for free money awarded solely because I'm broke, in debt, and a college student.

Anyway, it's looking more and more difficult to change my undesirable class schedule, but if I still don't have a friggin' job after school starts, I'll try harder to change it and if anyone wants to hire me after that, so be it. I am so tired of this economy.

Almost over the hump, I think and I hope.

2009-08-07T17:08:00.003-07:00

I've been feeling better since I received a call this week from Native Seeds/SEARCH asking me to come in for an interview for their part-time retail storefront job. I had the interview yesterday and spent a long time preparing for it, but I think I prepared in the wrong way. When I actually went in, I was faced with a panel, and I've had bigger panels interview me in the past, but it's been a while and I was a tad nervous. Not in any really physical or paralyzing way, but I think it caused me to talk way too much. I wasn't really prepared to answer their scripted questions either, though I think I successfully ad-libbed it. I was also perhaps too honest about my shortcomings (lack of certain experience, plus one example of a negative customer interaction I once had). I also had been hoping for time to discuss how well I'd fit into their mission of the conservation of both natural and cultural resources, but this may have only been afforded by a one-on-one interview. Oh, well, it would be such a great job to have but either way it's re-lit the fire under my arse. I did finally call my parents and for the most part, they behaved, and it was in the course of that conversation that I had a eureka moment. As much as I've claimed to not want to have to work with people in my next career, our conversation made me realize how much I enjoy educating people about land and natural resources, so I think I'll try to run with that and orient my curriculum towards interpretation, education, and basically learning to be a park ranger or something similar. This also provides a handy-dandy justification for joining 4H and taking AgEd classes. To top it off, there's a new course being offered by the Ecology department that is all about ecology education, and if I don't get the job, I'll see if I can petition to enroll in the class, as long as I can shift my schedule around to accommodate it.

Meanwhile, I still need work, badly. I haven't worked at my contract office job at all this week and the funding is drying up for it, so I'll be gone from there very soon anyway. The only August race at the racetrack is on the 22nd, so I'm really lacking in gigs. A local coffeeshop chain and Bruegger's Bagels are hiring, so tomorrow I'll pick up applications from them. Lastly, if nothing earth-shattering and life-altering makes itself available, in terms of jobs, then I'll proceed with school and go to the student job fair taking place on the third day of school. There's been no word from the Girl Scouts, to whom I turned in my resume rather late, and I have my doubts about this nifty desk assistant job at the University's Think Tank, which is a tutoring facility of sorts. There are great volunteer opportunities out there to gain experience for paid work in the field I want to get into, but I feel that I have to ignore it in favor of the much more immediate need for paid work. At any rate, though, I do feel better than I have been feeling, and by feeling reinvigorated about school and my career direction, I think I can once again see the Arizona Dream in the distance.

Plugging away.

2009-07-28T15:56:00.003-07:00

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks because I've been so depressed, but I don't want to drift too far away from blogging, so here I am. Today I actually woke up feeling more hopeful about things, though I couldn't help but think of the song "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" and its line: "Now how many days in a year, she woke up with hope but she only found tears?" Still, things are progressing. Unless a miracle comes along before Friday evening, Carl and I are moving in with his parents, a typical unemployment/recession story. Their house is paid off and they're so old that they'd prefer to have us close by so we can run their errands and manage the household, so living with the "in-laws" really shouldn't be so bad. At worst, they might be annoying with their octo- and nonogenerian quirks that really only stem from the need to survive each day. We'd help fix up the house bit by bit and have more space to work with, plus the freedoms that come with home ownership: freedom to plant a garden, put a shed in the yard, etc. Lastly, I'd save hundreds of dollars each month that could be put towards rebuilding my savings, paying off my credit card, or pre-paying my student loans. I really can't see any serious disadvantages to it. Even though it bothers me to consider moving to a neighborhood that's neither aesthetically pleasing nor convenient to school, it's a roof over my head that would only cost me my share of utility and grocery bills.

Other developments include a phone call with the 4-H contact at the U, which enabled me to get on an email list for updates on the up-and-coming Collegiate 4-H chapter at the school. This is important because if I found out that there was no University chapter, I was going to start one, never mind the fact that I've never been an aggie before. But it looks like I won't have to take that role, so I'm pleased. I chatted online with my good friend Jessi, who has done the aggie thing and has also helped with another organization of which we're both alumnae: the Girl Scouts. I've also been intensely interested in revisiting them in some way as well, so after our conversation, I checked in with the local council's website and actually found a job opening there. It would be a great fit, pay well, and provide benefits, and of course it's with an organization that I hold dear, so as much as I hate to mess up school plans, I'm going to apply and hopefully they won't remember the time they tried so hard to recruit me and I turned them down because the schedule wouldn't allow me to get a second job.

What else ...I haven't talked with my parents in almost a month because of how upset they made me when I visited them, so I think unless they call me, I'll wait to call them until next week at the earliest because by then I'll know for sure whether or not I'm moving into Carl's parents' house. They'll have a fit about that, but I'd rather drop the bomb from a position of strength (plans set in stone). The outrageous things that they accused him of with regard to my unemployment and constant state of poverty effectively traumatized me and there's no telling what they might try to do to our relationship (already tried to break us up a couple of times). At that time, they were on this cult kick and staged something of an intervention on the last day of my visit, accusing Carl of being a cult leader with a Messiah complex who's just manipulating me, when in fact they are the ones doing the manipulating by saying that they wish they could send me some money to help me out--if only I wasn't with Carl. For the record, I have not asked them for any financial assistance at all throughout this ordeal and I have been just fine with that because at almost thirty years old, I understand and appreciate that it's high time for me to find ways to stand on my own. Carl and I were badly weakened for a couple of days there, but now we're strong again and are determined to make things work as a team. If that means operating out of a shed in his parents' backyard, so be it. I'm not leaving the West and see little point in endlessly deferring my chance to redo my education to emerge as a scientist (Girl Scout job notwithstanding).

Well, it's been a lengthy post and I should get back to my scholarship search, so I'll be back sometime over the weekend or afterwards to report whether or not we are definitely moving "home", as well as the result of my application to the Girl Scouts. Here's hoping that the depression is finally lifting.

The Despair of Poverty

2009-07-15T11:16:00.002-07:00

Almost six months into my unemployment, I am feeling increasingly weighed down by depression and despair. I almost constantly have the urge to howl loudly and primally because the feeling is too dull to want to shed tears but too heavy to ignore it any longer. Last week I finally had to pick up my first box of food from a neighborhood food pantry. It feels so wrong when other people there were being handed towels and soap to use the shower inside the church, but I need all of the little bits of assistance I can get, and since I make too much money ($240 a week!) from unemployment, I can't qualify for food stamps. I've been in a terrible slump for the last week since I was turned down for that copywriting job at the University. It turned out to be a much niftier job than I'd originally thought and as many as thirty hours were available. I could do the job from home and I'd be working for the Park Service, the US Geological Survey, and the U of A. It would have been almost perfect. After that I couldn't find any other jobs worth applying for and now have a big blank spot in my job search log. Some other things have finally come along this week, though, so I hope to make up for it before I leave town for a few days starting tomorrow. Of course, a major development that came along a couple of days ago is a team position that Carl and I applied for at the beginning of the month. We've applied for self-storage onsite management jobs before, so we did so again when another opportunity came along. Then two days ago, we got a call from the person doing the hiring and yesterday, we found ourselves driving up to Casa Grande to meet him for a lunch appointment. The appointment was almost a bust because of a major communication breakdown in which I guess he expected us to show up at the restaurant and just know exactly who he was out of the entire dining room. We were quite angry when we thought we'd been stood up and as we were about to leave town, he called my phone and finally decided to check on us. We ended up having our interview over an hour after we'd originally scheduled it, but I'd like to think it went well in spite of things. I have no idea, really. Our being out of town is a problem for their hiring needs, so I don't feel good about them wanting to hire us. If they did, though, we would be starting a huge life change. The facility is in Apache Junction, in the furthest eastern reaches of the Valley, so far out there it's not even in Maricopa County even though it's part of the Phoenix blob. We'd be given a house, free utilities, a salary/stipend, and commission. It would be like running our own business without actually being the owners and we'd still answer to a general manager and the owners. The benefits, both financial and in terms of strengthening our relationship, would be so great. It would really fit into our plans for various things we want to accomplish as a couple. The drawbacks, though, would be living in a smallish desert town of a lot of retirees (and all of the ways in which it would not be Tucson) and I would have to again defer my full-time education. All would not be lost on the educational front, though, because Central Arizona College, the junior college for Pinal County, has a campus in Apache Junction where I'd probably be able to at least complete the basic math, chemistry, and biology courses needed for a BS in Rangeland Management. The courses would translate directly to those that I'd pay hundreds of dollars more for at the U. I don't know what else I could do from there, though, as any natural resource and agriculture courses available at CAC are held in classrooms at their science/ag campus in Coolidge, which is impossibly far away. Anyway, the storage people want to talk to us today (can't remember who's calling whom) to decide one way or the other, so Carl and I have agreed that we'll take the plunge and say that we are very interested and just hope that they are flexible enough to let us finish out our trip to Utah and then hit the ground running. We'll see. Meanwhile my UI had better show up in my bank account or I'm screwed to no end.

The rains have come: another change of seasons and I am still unemployed.

2009-07-04T10:09:00.002-07:00

Truly scary. While I was on vacation, the seasons changed on me and I came home to lower temperatures and higher humidity, loud cicadas and rain squalls. Over five months later I am still unemployed and I don't know if my benefits are going to be able to be stretched any longer. It's almost terrifying. I have an appointment with a staffer at the School of Natural Resources on Tuesday to discuss a job opening entailing writing website copy and uploading .xml files, and that's only ten to fifteen hours a week and probably minimally-paying, but it would be something and it would work around classes. It would also be a resume builder. Carl and I experienced a jarring conflict that made us realize that if we are truly committed to each other, then our very relationship depends upon his contributions to the job search. So we're enacting a plan to run our household like a business office, which is actually something we've tacitly wanted to do for a while but never thought to mention it out loud to each other. We have a new filing system for important papers, we're instituting some kind of a job board (for now, a job clothesline), complete with job tickets for tasks to be completed, and we're going to get up early and really compartmentalize our day. At the same time, we'll make more effort towards getting all that we can out of our one income source, paid petitioning for a nonprofit, and I'll see how long I can extend my UI. We also applied jointly to another storage facility onsite management team position. On August 1, we'll evaluate our plan and see if it's increasing productivity and progress, and we'll accordingly amend it or scrap it. If we scrap it, we may have to move into separate living spaces and hope that our relationship survives it. Kind of makes me lose some faith in that song I love so much, "Love Will Keep Us Alive". Money is essential to survival too. Sigh.

Groan.

2009-06-24T12:18:00.002-07:00

So this morning, unbelievably, and against all of the odds, I was offered an internship with the BLM down in the Sierra Vista area. It had kind of dropped out of the running but when I got a call for an interview, I went ahead with it. The interview was very humbling and I thought surely that would be the end of the matter and I'd continue looking forward to school in August. I realize I must sound very foolish to say that I don't want to accept it, but it's just not as practical to me as school seems. I'd put off school for a year, not make any real money, give up my house and life in Tucson, spend a year traipsing around the woods of the San Pedro River watershed, and then what? If it was six months or less, I'd go for it, but a year seems like too long to put things off yet again. But, I'm not saying no just yet, I'll do some thinking first. Ugh, timing!

Dribs and drabs, and dare I say free time?

2009-06-16T16:47:00.002-07:00

This week I've put in a couple of mini-shifts at the former client of my former employer, so that's cool, and honestly, I'm tickled to have the chance to help them out. While I was employed, I was always curious as to how it would be to work for them. I also got to say hi to the girl there my age who I find so intriguing, so it's been a good connection all-around. Yesterday afternoon I applied for an even gig that I didn't get, plus another conservation nonprofit job. I'm feeling creative today and have wasted all afternoon just goofing off and not producing anything or doing any homework. I hope this mood carries over to tomorrow so that I can think of a way to either make something to sell for money or to procure funding for Carl's project. I didn't get the Park Service internship, unsurprisingly, and there's no way I'll get the BLM one, but I'll keep looking around anyway.

Sorry for slacking.

2009-06-09T15:15:00.002-07:00

I haven't had much to report lately. I'm still waiting for the results of applications and interviews to find out if there are any job prospects, and school is still up in the air. Tomorrow I might go apply to a new frozen yogurt place in the neighborhood just as a part-time gig. I'm a bit ambivalent about it because their classified ad described them as a "self-serve frozen yogurt concept", and when I looked up that phrase, I turned up results for places like Pinkberry. Pinkberry is intriguing but I always associate it with my snobby former coworkers who go shopping in places like Scottsdale and San Diego, which I believe are places where they tried Pinkberry and decided that it was the cool new place to go for fro-yo. Thus I'm wondering if I have to wear makeup and preppy clothes to apply for the job. I think I will and size up the interviewers in person to determine if it would be a worthy place to work.

In other news, if I didn't mention it already, I have an interview with the BLM on Thursday for an internship. There's been no word yet from the former client who wants me to work a few hours as an office assistant, and tomorrow is the deadline for the nonprofit job I applied to. The job landscape at the moment basically consists of either nothing good or a lot of waiting for rejection letters or interviews. Meanwhile, in the course of my job search, I've yet again encountered an ad that looks like it's for my former employer. This would be the third time or so that I've seen it posted on TucsonHelpWanted.com. They actually have the nerve to claim that they are a "stable" company! I hope they keep having to post that ad and never find someone who put up with them as long as I did.

Mmm, fro-yo ...I'm trying to convince myself not to go get some, but I'm on my way out to run errands and I think I may end up at least detouring for a smoothie if I have to have something. Maybe I'll have more to report by the end of the week.

Bullet dodged for now.

2009-05-28T19:13:00.002-07:00

I had time to go to the nearest unemployment office today after my workshop, so I did so that I could clarify what the heck is going on with my claim. It was discovered that I cleared adjudication and I'm back on the payroll, thank the Universe. I still need to find employment, but at least it's not fully critical now.

Two pinpoints of light in the darkness.

2009-05-28T11:41:00.004-07:00

First of all, I'm still in big trouble. I called the unemployment hotline at 7:58 this morning, two minutes before the thing is supposed to be open, and it was already hopelessly clogged. I tried every two minutes for about a half an hour and got nowhere.

The two minor positives mentioned in my title, however, are 1) my UA financial aid award is actually kinda sorta enough to live on for a school year without there being an absolutely critical need to work part-time or full-time. I misunderstood how much tuition is each year and it's less than I was thinking, so I should be covered. 2) Behold this random stroke of luck:

Click on the image to enlarge it and see what I'm talking about. Too bad the Amazon markup drove up the cost so much; I'll see if I can lower it through the publisher or something. Then you all (all one of you?) can buy it and enjoy lots of Arizona sunsets right on your own coffee table!

Insult to injury.

2009-05-27T15:27:00.002-07:00

So I haven't received unemployment payments in a month, and it's taking its toll. Today, just to make me crazier over survival, DES sent me an email claiming that they hadn't yet received my unemployment claim for last week. I called the automated hotline and it said that they did receive it, and I confirmed this online too. Time to get up ass-early tomorrow and hope that maybe I can get through to someone who can help me in a useful way. This is terrible.

On top of it, my internet isn't working and multiple calls to all of Cox's customer service numbers have gone absolutely nowhere. I mean, I literally can't get through because all of their circuits are busy. So now I'm down at the U, working for a little while from their field of computer dreams (thank goodness for this place) and seeing if there are any jobs I can apply to this afternoon so that this day hasn't been a complete waste.

Oh, and one more thing related to computers and internet: My best friend called me to tell me that someone had hacked into my AIM account and sent him obscene messages. I quickly figured out exactly how this had happened and rushed downtown to the computer that it probably occurred on, fixed all of the AIM settings and changed my password to prevent it, and now I'm figuring out how to get the message out to the right people there that while I don't know who the culprit is, I know when they did it and where, and they need to know that they've been caught and I'm insulted. Carl suggested a likely perp who doesn't seem completely plausible, but the odds are good enough that I can't help but suspect him too.

So nothing is really going my way and I still have no income, and my savings is getting used up all the while. Yesterday I applied for a part-time telecommuting job, or at least I think it's workable from home, with the prominent alternative newspaper here, and I can't expect to hear anything for at least a week but of course I'm hoping. The, uh, "interesting" thing about getting that gig would be that I'd be back in contact with my former employer. That would be a great way to irritate them, though with them as a reference, I may well not get the job even regardless of my writing ability, which is a qualification they're looking for. Then it's still another two weeks until I hear about the non-profit job and almost three weeks until I hear about the internship. Something really has to give or I'm going to lose my house and have to move to Scottsdale.

Continuing desperation, contingency plans, unsolicited applications.

2009-05-21T23:32:00.002-07:00

I'm down to filling out applications for store jobs whether they say they're hiring or not. I also saw an ad for newspaper carriers in certain Foothills and East Side ZIP codes and I called the hotline anyway. The woman on the other end took my information down but emphasized that a manager would rather hire me for my own ZIP code. Do they realize how small 85716 is?! I don't mind driving around those others! I've emailed myself tons of job ops and haven't had time to apply yet or follow up on other positions. Tomorrow is going to be busy to that end. I have the materials for a petition signature drive for which I can get paid up to $2 per signature with email address, but I'm doubting that I'll be able to overcome my shyness enough to make much money at that. Lastly, yesterday I actually had an interview at Saguaro National Park, which was exciting but revealed that I'm unlikely to land that internship. At least I got to get in front a staff member there, though. If by some miracle I were to be chosen, I'd have to defer school somewhat but even if I couldn't take any other classes for the semester, I could still register for internship credit, and that would be cool. Something needs to happen NOW, one way or the other.

Desperation, for real this time.

2009-05-19T01:07:00.002-07:00

My edible bouquet assembly job only lasted three days and then that money, plus the little bit I made at the raceway, evaporated when I paid a couple of bills. I feel like there's not a decent job to be had anywhere in this Godforsaken town, talk about a desert. I'm dyin' here. I applied for a great internship at Saguaro National Park and will follow up by phone in a couple of days. My former supervisor at my last job vouched for me and in fact, my contacting her resulted in our having a nice supper and catching up on life. I also found a posting for a job at a local conservation organization, one that's very low-paying but in the right area of interest and something I can definitely handle. Plus it's thirty hours a week, so I could still squeeze in a class or two. I also applied to Pizza Hut to be a delivery driver, something that a friend of mine highly recommends, as she did it in a time of need and was able to make some decent money from it. Tomorrow, Carl and I are going to bring our resumes down to a call center that's hiring part-time, seasonal representatives. I'm so worried that any place I apply to will have a problem with my vacations this summer, but someone out there has to hire me. I also applied for a minimally-paying part-time internship with the Center for Biological Diversity, which could be a good resume builder. Thursday, there's a training session for wannabe petitioners for the Marijuna Policy Project. The MPP is paying people a dollar per signature and two dollars if we get a signer's email address. Lastly, I'm hoping to Hell that the upcoming gun show will need some temporary labor and I think I'll call the show's presenters about this. I need a miracle. My horoscope didn't even come true today: it said that a door was going to open and I needed to follow my instinct and cross the threshold into a whole new world and way of life. I really need to have about a million dollars fall out of the sky about now.

Four and a half months into unemployment, I'm down to day labor.

2009-05-10T20:46:00.002-07:00

Not that that's such a bad thing; daily cash income sounds like the best type of income to me, as long as it's a livable wage. My latest goofy gig has me getting up at 4:30 in the morning tomorrow, less than eight hours from now (and I'm still doing my homework). I'll be providing day labor for my local Edible Arrangements shop, who apparently needs some quick manpower to crank out a few orders. For just a few hours that don't interfere with my appointments and lengthy to-do list, I can definitely sacrifice and get up in the middle of the night for a few cash bucks. Honestly, I've been watching Edible Arrangements all this time anyway in case there's a way to work there because it's one of those creative (and tasty) jobs that has a person working with their hands. Maybe I can find out what it takes to get a job like that too.

Dogged optimism and the Arizona Dream.

2009-05-09T14:37:00.002-07:00

In a little while I'll be leaving to go work at Tucson Raceway Park, so yes, I did score a gig there. The townie connection just might have worked. Carl has actually expressed an interest in working with me on gigs like this, so I think I'll ask them how flexible their dress code is, as he mustn't cut his hair or shave because I'll be disgruntled :P Things are still totally up in the air in terms of survival and financial aid for school, but I just had one of my moments that I thought I'd never have again: I'm having problems but I'm having them out west, in Arizona! Where I can see four mountain ranges from Speedway Boulevard! And I'm going to school to study the West in depth, and I have cowboy boots, a denim jacket, and a tooled leather purse. I have a hat too but need a straw hat because my black felt hat doesn't do me any good in the hot weather. So I'm partway there, I made it as far as Arizona, and ever since getting here, throughout my many moments in which my survival has been seriously questioned, I've still felt ultimately hopeful and, knock on wood, financially invincible. The West has problems and I become more aware of them all of the time, but it's still a place where, if I absolutely had to, I could pick up, drive across the desert, start fresh, and somehow regroup. The original Arizona Dream is further off than ever, but it's still there, just off of Old Spanish Trail somewhere on the far East Side. Plus, I just applied to two SCA internships over at Saguaro NP (though I don't remember if they're in the east or west district), so that's a step in the right direction too. If I can just survive first the summer, then school, then the search for a job in range management, I'll be closer than ever. As Doc Brown said in, I think, Back to the Future II, "We--must--succeed!"

Filth!

2009-05-04T13:40:00.002-07:00

In spite of my status as an unemployed fool transitioning to starving college student, I badly needed someone to come clean my house, despite how small it is and how I should be ashamed of how nasty it's gotten. Not having a regular work or school schedule has proven very problematic for my organization and motivation for getting things done, so maintenance has suffered considerably, among other things. I finally stopped thinking about it and went ahead and hired a cleaning service to come in and exorcise the filth, or at least reduce it to a manageable level. I have the air conditioning, fan, and kitchen fan going with all of the windows open and it still reeks of deadly fumes. I can hear the custodian gasping in the bathroom and I can't imagine how bad it must be right in the middle of it. My toothbrush must be getting poisoned in the process. I hope she doesn't pass out and I'm worried that this could be one of her toughest jobs; I really hate to be "that" person. I guess this is a lesson in homemaking and not losing one's head just because one has lost one's job.

As far as the new student status, it's in progress and I need to finish some paperwork, and then I'll be official. I can't wait to get on with my life!

I also have an interview for a concessions job at Tucson Raceway Park tomorrow. It turns out that the man in charge of it all is from just down 495, so he's a countryman. I wonder if that's what made him call me. Working there would be even cooler than working at the dragway and I hope I can get a small job.

I've been meaning to post for at least three days.

2009-04-23T23:08:00.002-07:00

I don't know why I've put it off like it's such a chore. Anyway, I've been putting in a few hours here and there at the county fair for Dippin' Dots and rather enjoying myself. The work is easy but still good for my growing "small projects" resume that so far contains just retail and food service gigs. Over a week into the fair, I still haven't taken a proper schmai around and haven't gotten anywhere near any of the agricultural shows and exhibits, but it's been fun regardless. It's also been ass-expensive, as I've been taking advantage of the opportunity to sample fair foods ranging from funnel cake to Fazackerley's Fudge. I've been good about not eating too much of that kind of food, but combined with a lack of exercise, I think it's rapidly collecting around my middle. I also extracted ten bucks from the bottom of the unemployment barrel to buy a cheap-looking but just adorable tooled/stamped leather western saddle purse that's just big enough to hold a wallet and keys. That actually wasn't too bad a deal, considering how much merchandise and food costs. By working for a vendor, though, I've learned some of the reasons behind the high prices. Paying $7.50 for a gyro is painful, but I need food and the Greek food folks need to cover their expenses somehow. It's a filling sandwich, at least, sticking to my ribs for a few hours at a time.

I've been alternating shifts between the Dippin' Dots kiosk inside one of the exhibit halls and the trailer outside in front of the pig races. Thus I get some time close to other vendors, as well as practice making smoothies and milkshakes out at the trailer. Having done the traveling vendor thing before, I'm really interested in someday launching one of these businesses myself and Carl and I hope to make it a unique Exist Kind fundraiser. I'll be a little let down once this is over and everyone moves on to the next fair while I stay put. I'll get one last small gig on Saturday night when I pinch-hit as a jewelry seller for another vendor who needs some help. That will be a chance to go to the fair a couple of hours early and actually have a good look around just as a visitor. I'm out of cash and don't want to withdraw another twenty bucks from the bank, so I may have to get a special five bucks in cash back somewhere so I can have one last funnel cake. I can't wait for the state fair in November.

New developments!

2009-04-15T23:56:00.002-07:00

I finally received an acceptance letter from the U of A yesterday! I can finally move in a direction! That is, assuming I can obtain enough financial aid. Even though here and there I have cold feet, I'm basically on track to go back to school full-time and just get my career started over again. I can't wait to work on enrolling.

In other news, today I got a call in the middle of the afternoon from the ice cream lady. She didn't call two days ago, when she said that she would, so I'd given up. But she wanted me to go in and work tomorrow and one day next week, with the possibility of more hours, so I went down to the fairgrounds today for a quick training session and to pick up my official t-shirt, hat, and badge. I'll be inside one of the buildings, working in a kiosk shaped like a giant container of ice cream. She also hired someone with the same name as a man I worked with at the dragway, so I'm hoping it's him so I can chat with him and see how he's doing (he was having a hard time of unemployment when we last spoke).

I'm thinking of assembling a scrapbook of all of the odd jobs I've had the privilege of working because some of them are so off-the-wall. If I have the time in between classes and any work-study or part-time job I might take, I think I'll keep seeking out these odd food-service and retail jobs because like I said, they provide good experience to fall back on in down times.

I'm starting to feel like Kramer on Seinfeld.

2009-04-09T20:52:00.002-07:00

It seems like a few times over the last month I've had to say to people, "Hey, guess what I'm doing now?" when it comes to scoring income opportunities. As the Easter Bunny gig (which is kind of kicking my butt) winds down, I'm hoping to have the opportunity to work at the county fair coming up on the 16th as ...an ice cream scooper. Dippin' Dots has two kiosks at the fairgrounds and they posted an ad looking for help for the fair, so I responded and gave them my best food-service and retail resume, and they called me today to ask a few questions. The lady doing the hiring closed the call by saying that she looks forward to meeting me next week, but we'll see what she decides. I've never been this eager to land a gig like this, but at this point it's actually more than just unemployment inspiring me. Lately I've concluded that even though retail and food service suffer significantly in a depressed economy, they are still important industries that won't be going away. I've decided that it would be useful to accumulate various types of retail and food service experience because it's something I've done a little of and can fall back on in times of unemployment or underemployment. If the ice cream job doesn't pan out, I'll call the cowboy steakhouse I applied to a few weeks ago and see if they're still looking for help. Meanwhile, I'm thinking about educational backup plans in case the U of A rejects me. I could always revisit the community college automotive technology plan or check out the truck-driving program at the same school. All is not lost, though my savings account is rapidly losing. It's already time to pay some of my bills and that really worries me.

Nodding off in the anticlimax of a sugar binge.

2009-04-01T19:54:00.004-07:00

Other than that, I had an agreeable day. I didn't work and if I ignored the side of me that's constantly panicking over being unemployed, I had just the kind of day that I'd like to be able to have if I were leading an independently wealthy, artsy-fartsy life. I submitted a resume to the funky girly clothing store on 4th Ave whose clothes I seem to be collecting. They're looking for someone just part-time at minimum wage, but it's better than nothing and it'd be a chance to grow connections in the 4th Ave community. Then I walked up and down the avenue looking for jobs, people, and places I hadn't been to before. I had a good conversation with the shopkeeper at Sacred Desert Huichol Art, then potentially undid any good that it did by buying the smallest possible, least expensive piece of artwork that I could get away with (explaining, of course, that I'm unemployed). I finally got to see Cafe Zope during the day when it's open, and they were mostly empty, so I of course had to do my part to help out and I bought a cup of tea and a crepe. I had some stops at the Nepalese import store and a couple of art and craft shops, then drove over to the Myriad. They were closed, so I couldn't enjoy any bartering in the artist room. From there I stopped at Sarah's, made plans to return at 4:30 to hang out, then wound my way through the maze of downtown to hit La Zia, a Native American art and gift shop in the El Presidio neighborhood. They're also looking to hire an employee, so I wanted to size them up before calling them, which I'll try to do tomorrow. While in that neighborhood, I got a call from a girl who was selling a really cheap guitar on Craig's List, so I made arrangements to meet her and complete the transaction. From there I went down to the Folk Shop to schmai around, was pleased to bump into a double-neck pedal steel guitar inside the front door, and mentioned offhand that I happened to have a guitar in my car right at that moment. One of the shopkeepers invited me to bring it inside because I wanted to buy a humidifier and he wanted to see if it even needed it first. He saw right away that the guitar needed to have its neck loosened, sent me on my way with an Allen wrench, and then I was off to Sarah's again to crash a piano lesson and discuss my upcoming work with her. After about six hours out and about, I finally got home and here I am passing out early with Joe Walsh's "Inner Tube" and "Theme From Boat Weirdos" lulling me into a complacent daydream of sailing on a bright blue ocean under a blue sky ...zzzzzz

Camp Verde or bust.

2009-03-24T21:18:00.002-07:00

As of twenty-four hours ago, the deed, resigning from the metalfest project, has been done. Actually, it was forty-eight hours ago that I brashly committed my big bridge-burning, professional faux pas of doing so by voicemail, but it just wasn't important enough to me to do it in person or otherwise more properly. They finally called me back last night to wrap things up and admonished me by saying that I might regret giving this up when they're making millions of dollars someday. I just don't care for any more PR, though, and especially this week when I'm concentrating on my career change. The only way it might have screwed me that I can think of is that I could be off of the call list for the Super Chevy Show at SIR. Ah, well, not too great a price to pay for a nifty opportunity to work for Sarah after her wanting me to for two years. Other than being in that situation, the timing is finally right for us to try working together, as I'm still unemployed and she's doing well enough to pay staff members. I guess I should probably make sure that my guitars will still play and then try to remember how to play myself, huh? She's so excited, she wants to train me to teach piano and voice. Well, I'll be talking to her soon and I hope it works out. Meanwhile, the Easter Bunny thing is going so-so; I'm not as on the ball as I need to be, but maybe I'll feel recharged after my mini-vacation, if it doesn't make me more obsessed with range management. I can't wait to get to really talk shop, plus run up to Sedona and watch the sun set over the red rocks, if they're not too overrun with tourists. I'm just worried about the unavoidable crossing of the Phoenix megalopolis. There aren't enough roads in Arizona to avoid the thing, and even if there were, it might not make sense because the blob is so big that a bypass would take someone perhaps, oh, at least thirty miles out of the way or some other long distance. As it is, if I drive up Highway 79, which is what I'll most likely do, I'll have to enter the blob through Queen Creek and work my way across on surface streets or putt-putt along those surface streets to the nearest freeway. Ugh. Well, that's why I've leaving over five hours before I need to be there, even though Google Maps idealistically quoted me 3:15. Alright, I'll end this caffeine-and-fatigue-addled stream of consciousness and hopefully will have much exciting news to report when I get home.

P.S. I had a dream this morning before I woke up in which I bumped into my first supervisor at my last job while I was out and about, and I told her what had become of me and referred to my last company as "bitches", and she agreed. I hope it doesn't take too much longer to get over that whole experience.

Big sigh.

2009-03-20T17:02:00.002-07:00

Well, I'm finding that this metalfest promotional gig is just not my thing, in terms of the commitment required, my other more important priorities, and the personality and experience it calls for. At this point, even though it would be cool to be involved in it, I'm eagerly awaiting my meeting with the guy who recruited me so that I can tell him that I can't make this the priority it needs to be, especially when it doesn't yield an immediate economic return, and I want to recruit someone else. I went to a local call center this afternoon to apply with them but I was told right away that I probably would not be hired because I made too much money at my last job ($14 an hour, while this place pays $9.50). They would rather screen out people right away because of the training investment that they make. Well, fine then. I just got home now from applying to be a server at nearby restaurant, but my application had so many "issues" with regard to being fired, making a lot of money at previous jobs, and availability, so I don't feel good about them wanting me there. I have another application to file for a temporary, part-time position as a low-paid ($12.71) office hoodsie at Pima Community College. Then it's back to the drawing board. I have to figure out what I'm doing for housing by April 1, and I doubt that the U of A will have decided what to do with me by then, so everything is just so maddeningly in a holding pattern. I was definitely spoiled when I had the option of temp agencies, which just aren't an option these days. There are so many in town, too, though I've been told that they're closing one by one. Come on, school or government! You can do it!

Minor cause for celebration, but the big picture is still ugly.

2009-03-15T17:43:00.003-07:00

I was finally approved for unemployment compensation, now that it's been over seven weeks since I applied. I celebrated by going to the truckstop and buying an antenna for my CB radio so that I have that ready for my Camp Verde road trip. I would really be nice to find a friggin' job, though. I'm worried that the U of A will reject me because of my Colorado State transcript and I would like to know just how long the process has to take already. Carl and I were rejected from the storage facility job sight unseen. The woman there called us to talk about the job and we exchanged a couple more calls and arranged to go in for an interview. Then very soon after making the appointment, she called us when we weren't home and left us a message saying that the position had been filled. It's like a conspiracy. I was thinking today, though, that it's really my own weakness that inspires me to get angry at my former employer for providing a bad reference because it's easier to get angry at her than to think that the entire economy is beyond help and out of anyone's control. Something has got to give sometime, and I will not give up on the Arizona Dream!

Ugh, too tired to deal right now.

2009-03-11T22:50:00.003-07:00

So in the last couple of days my life has gone from mush-minded, lazy, depressing unemployment to frantic appointments, projects, studying, and business trips, and of course still no income from anything but there are possibilities. I now have a temporary job doing mall Easter Bunny photos, I'm going to be helping a local multimedia company/record label/whatever else they do to get PR for their big crazy heavy metal event in May, I got a call from a self-storage company looking to hire a live-in management team (me and Carl), and I've officially registered and booked accommodations for the Range 101 workshop in Camp Verde. Oh, and I can't forget the volunteer work I'm doing for that nonprofit, and that reminds me that I haven't been able to help Carl at all with his own efforts. Ugh. I actually have to wind down to bed at a reasonable hour, get up early, and follow a real schedule for a change. I feel stressed not only because my laziness has been disrupted, but because all of a sudden I'm faced with all of these opportunities and none of them involves me going to school full-time or going to work for the federal government (got a rejection letter from Tonto National Monument, by the way). I really don't want to be distracted too much from the Arizona Dream and I'm just going to have to keep a lid on things that could take me away from rangeland management. Somehow I have to not stress too much about the money I'll be spending on the trip to Camp Verde; goodness knows how much that gas money will cost. I'm starting to wonder if the DES has completely abandoned me ...

Sorry it's been so long; the date doesn't matter much these days unless a bill is due.

2009-03-10T11:01:00.002-07:00

The NHRA event at the dragway ended on Saturday but I'm just getting around to posting now. I don't really know why, since I don't do much these days, but here it is late. So a good time was had by all and I hated for the event to end, since I was so enjoying working at SIR, but I pledged my interest to the boss in continuing to work future gigs, so hopefully he'll call me in a couple of weeks when the Super Chevy Show gets closer. At the end, it was obvious who had stayed longest because of needing the work the most. All of the college hoodsies and dude-guys who were just there for a little bit of pocket money left early and at the end it was down to about four or five of us "working stiffs". I must say that I do feel inspired now to look for food service work because even though some restaurants have fallen prey to the economy, in other capacities, food service is going strong and will continue to need workers. I'm also more open to finding event gigs to work. To that end, one of my coworkers, who I mentioned earlier, is hooking me up with some promotion work for a band that he promotes, and I'm a little nervous about being able to hack it, but at any rate, I'll be meeting with him and the band tonight to get the details. Otherwise, there have been no responses to applications and resumes and there have been few new good leads lately. Carl finally got a resume together, which I cleaned up, and once he gives it his final approval, I'll fax it today along with mine and a cover letter to a storage company in town that's looking for a live-in management team. My college application has been stymied by having to obtain transcripts for both of the schools I'm enrolled in now, so I don't currently have the luxury of hoping that I hear from the University soon. My latest off-the-wall idea for gaining a vocational skill is to get a CDL license through Pima Community College's truck driver training program, and I think it's a good fallback option, or at least something to work on in my spare time if for some reason I don't get into the University. What else can I ramble about ...I don't know, I feel like I'm just muddling through the days and "dreaming my life away" (that's a line from a song) because I don't have the luxury of enjoying many hobbies or personal growth activities because I have to spend so much time looking for a job and worrying about survival. One growth opportunity that I'm working on attending, if I haven't already mentioned it, is a class offered by the University's Cooperative Extension called "Range 101". I haven't yet registered because of the problems of finding cheap accommodations and setting aside gas money, but I think I'll do it anyway so that I can finally get some concentrated field time and instructor face time that, if nothing else, I can probably apply towards my Great Basin class for extra credit. Alright, I need to end this ramble and eat breakfast, so hopefully I'll have something to report after tonight's meeting.

Speed and power, baby!

2009-03-05T18:01:00.002-07:00

Today was my second day out of three scheduled at the dragway, where I scored a temporary event gig working in concessions. I wish I lived closer and/or it paid more, but otherwise I'm enjoying myself. During the bracket races and test 'n' tune, it's been very slow business, but tomorrow promises to be a madhouse. I'm hoping that they need me to work on Saturday too and I may ask the boss if he would like my help that day. I'm just so pleased to work surrounded by speed and power, and after my shifts I've even gone into the stands to get some pictures of competitors on the strip. It's interesting to observe this ad-hoc crew work together and become experts in a setting that we're unfamiliar with. Many of my coworkers have stories about why they're there, too, and that's comforting. A few are "broke" and unemployed, one guy was let go from his job the day after he became eligible for benefits, one lady was fired for becoming pregnant, one guy is just plain unemployed, etc. etc. Everyone is pleasant and friendly, too, so it's a good time. One guy, whose main job is working as a promoter and event crew member, actually gave me the contact information for someone who knows someone else who can somehow set me up with doing PR work for Metallica. I can hardly believe it, but I may just have to come up with a spiel and call him. Both Patty and my horoscope told me that some kind of big opportunity was going to come out of this gig, and maybe that's it. All the same, I'll first see what tomorrow brings. Maybe there's hope after all.

So much for trying to post more often.

2009-03-02T00:03:00.003-07:00

So Monday I was able to switch my car insurance carrier to someone who will cost me A HUNDRED AND TWELVE DOLLARS LESS EACH MONTH. That sure was keeping me down and I shudder to think about how much that adds up over a year. I also cancelled my cable TV, which means I can't watch a thing now because I don't have one of those Communist adapters that Big Brother imposed on us on February 19th. So I listened to the NASCAR race over streaming radio, neener-neener. Lastly, my state health care paperwork is still pending and based on the stories I've heard about the Arizona DES, it may never get processed (kind of like my futile unemployment benefit claims: still no money coming in from that). So, to hold me for just routine and sick doctor's office visits, I signed up with a regional health care center that serves poor unfortunates and I don't have insurance, and can't go to the ER or stay in the hospital or anything, but I only have to pay $15 for a doctor visit. Of course, just to scare me, the cosmos would give me food poisoning Thursday night. That kicked my butt for a few days; I thought I was better yesterday and went out and about to check out the Peace Fair, but then today felt weak again. I should be fine tomorrow, though. Wednesday was my much-anticipated field trip to the Audubon Research Ranch, where I was given a great tour by the director and got to enjoy lots of beautiful rolling yellow grassland scenery with the Huachuca Mountains in the background. That really fired me up for school and I really can't wait to hear from the University so I can just enroll and start financial aid paperwork. I can always drop down to part-time if a job actually comes along. Speaking of a job coming along, I don't have one, of course, but I did get a call from the folks at the dragway saying that I'm scheduled to work as a server in their onsite restaurant for the big NHRA Lucas Oil Pro Mod event! The commute is very long and I'll have to do a dry run tomorrow or Tuesday, as I'll be working Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and it'll really be insufferable because of the schedule I'm on: 6 am to close. Thank goodness it's only three days and that it's at a really cool event; I don't know how I'm going to survive it. The tips had better be good and I hope they have coffee concoctions in the restaurant, as there isn't a coffee shop for many miles and I WILL need caffeine. Meanwhile, tomorrow it's back to the job search and the to-do list. Multiple horoscopes the last couple of days were pestering me to get on my to-do list but I hardly moved one bit Friday and today, so that's tough luck. Being ill did afford me some nice quality movie-night time with Carl, though, since we don't enjoy that as often as we'd like to, and I got to bring him into the Rat Race fold and see another movie I'd wanted to see for eleven years. Alright, it's late and I need sleep, so here's to another day and another chance.

Emotional roller coaster time!

2009-02-21T17:20:00.002-07:00

Weee! Two open positions at Whole Foods, just down the street! Up to $15 dollars an hour to bag groceries! Whump. How many other fools out there are competing for a part-time grocery bagger job? Educated fools at that? Weee! Temp help needed in concessions for big NHRA Lucas Oil Pro Mod event at SIR Dragway! Seven days to choose from with fifteen hours a day to choose from! So what if it's minimum wage, it's speed and power! Whump. They aren't going to call anyone until at least March 2, the first day of setup. Double whump: just paid my bills yesterday. Actually more of a siphoning sound. NEED. JOB. NOW. (Or incredible educational or business opportunity.) Carl is going to start contacting temp agencies on Monday and I think I too will try a few I hadn't considered. I imagine he, as a welder, should have more luck. Sigh ...

Thinking of the scene in "Office Space" in which the three protagonists are all swearing in the car after discovering the bank error.

2009-02-18T08:18:00.002-07:00

I just got off of the phone with the unemployment call center to find out why I haven't received any payments in four weeks. It's because it's taking five to six weeks just to get any "issues" with claims in front of an adjudicator, that's how badly backed up the system is. Yesterday I finally added up all of the bills that have come in the mail, plus rent and water, and it was an exhorbitant amount. I had to move fifteen hundred dollars from savings to checking. Fifteen hundred. I'm looking at places to live that either cost less, include utilities, are shared situations, or are part of caretaking gigs. Of course, if I don't find a job by the time I determine I have to move, I don't see how I could get a place at all. I do have a friend who weathered some tough times and kind of bounced from one home to the next last year, so if I could just get a hold of her (notoriously doesn't answer her phone), I could at least see how she survived. I was up into the wee hours of the morning last night worrying about being separated from Carl because of having to relocate for a job or living situation. I found a very doable job in Montana a couple of days ago and since then I've been stressing about the possibility of leaving Arizona altogether. Heartbreaking ...

P.S. Last night I had to go grocery shopping on top of it, dropping $50 on food that will only last about a week even at Wal-Mart prices, and my items included seven packs of ramen. Thus the picture, even though you've seen it before.

Happy Valentine's Day, every day the fourteenth!

2009-02-15T02:22:00.002-07:00

It's actually 2:22 am Mountain Standard Time on Sunday the fifteenth as I write this, but I haven't ended my day yet and Sunday doesn't begin until I get up to start it, so it's still Valentine's Day. I will not apologize for saying that my first Valentine's Day with a real boyfriend has been worth the wait. (Last year I had to work on Valentine's Day night and didn't get to spend any time with him.) Anyway, I know my blog entries are becoming more sporadic and that's because job prospects seem to be drying up. I found a couple of positions at the Grand Canyon for the Park Service and I'll apply to them for the heck of it, but really, you know everyone and their ass-uncle is vying for those jobs. I'm making assumptions, but I strongly suspect that the two most popular national parks are probably Rocky Mountain and the Grand Canyon. Still, it's all about getting my name in the system as much as possible, especially with the way that I've heard that the federal government hires: apparently it's common for them to interview you over the phone or even just draft you without an interview. Meanwhile, I'm hoping for the best when it comes to my application to Customs & Border Protection. As unfortunate as the Southern Arizona-Sonora situation is, it is creating jobs, and I need to capitalize on this as long as they're recruiting. I faxed my college transcript over to them this week and am hoping they will decide that I'd make a bomb-diggity Mission Support Assistant.

Other events this week included:

Bombing the pre-screening interview at the Target Warehouse. I really need to get over this job loss to make any progress, apparently.

The never-ending search for jobs.

Tagging along with Carl to his sales training and deciding that he can do all of the selling he wants, but this type of sales work is blatantly not for me.

Attending a very timely Robert Kyosaki "Rich Dad" seminar to see what they had to say. It was useful information but somehow very limiting or like it wasn't really a means to an end. I guess I'm just too much of an earthling to be so driven by the almighty dollar.

A great visit with an advisor at the University to discuss courses I can skip, courses I should take at the community college, and courses I should choose for my eventual specialty. If I could just find out quickly whether or not I've been accepted, I don't think I'd hesitate to plunge in whole-hog and remake myself once and for all.

Deciding not to become a part-time canvasser for a local environmental organization. It takes WAY too much labor for the very low pay and for some reason, they see it fit to go traipsing around sketchy neighborhoods looking for money AFTER DARK. I know this because on his first night with it, Carl was immediately tossed to the lions and actually got separated from the rest of the group, had to take a bus back to midtown, and called me from a payphone to get a ride back to where his truck was. And then the other canvassers had the nerve to get mad at him for getting lost! After not training him enough and leaving him behind on his first night! After I heard that I promptly cancelled my training sessions. Hell NO.

Surrounded myself with lots of earthlings by convincing Carl to go to a folk duo concert and free vegetarian meal at the local Unitarian church. Not a typical way for me to spend a Friday night (sounds more like what I'd end up doing if I was still stuck in my hometown), but it was something I needed to do as a change of pace and for the networking potential. Plus, I'm finding myself leaning more towards the Unitarian church because the religion I chose for myself, while refreshingly free of excessive ritual, is really too loosely organized for me to feel like a full participant. If I could ever get myself out of bed to attend a service, I'd be all set. Tomorrow's not a good day, but we'll see about upcoming Sundays.

Not receiving any unemployment compensation! It's week four, people, and I'm dyin' here!

Steadily crafting away and hoping that all of my stitching will turn out something worth selling. I have lots of fun ideas and maybe I'll soon have enough items to arrange a little sale in my driveway.

Today we went to have a proper look at just a small part of the gem show and I'm glad we did. There were some killer deals out there and I'm even thinking of going to the grocery store and buying, like, a bottle of water just so I can get about five bucks in cash back so I can go back to that Huichol art dealer and buy one of his marked-down ornaments. I don't know when I'll ever again see a piece of Huichol art for under ten dollars. Check out the Huichol Indians on Wikipedia: they're a Mexican tribe and they make the most incredible, detailed, painstaking, psychedelic folk art. It is absolutely trippy, and it has everything to do with their ritual use of peyote.

Lastly, though I shouldn't end an entry with negativity, I just remembered that the latest piece of scary economic news is that the Arizona Department of Economic Security, the agency that handles welfare, food stamps, health insurance, unemployment insurance, and so on, is having problems of its own and is forcing 9,000 employees to go on furlough (see the Arizona Daily Star from Friday the 13th: http://www.azstarnet.com/allheadlines/280062.php .). Unemployment is the only sector that won't be impacted, but that's a small comfort. We're all gonna die. A few days ago I joined the many poor unfortunates in this city/county/state/country and submitted my paperwork for state health insurance, and I'm awaiting word on my applications for reduced electric and gas bills. Yes, especially because I'm not getting UI, I'm joining the welfare masses. Now with this latest news, I may not receive any health insurance, or (hopefully) by the time I do, I'll have a job that offers benefits. Sigh. I asked the UA admissions receptionist if she knew if there has been a recent spike in applications due to job loss and she said that there haven't been any more than usual (could say a lot for the academic standards in these parts), so I'm hoping she's right and that I'll be accepted without any problems, unless they're limiting their recruiting to just Magnas and Summas. If I get in, I'm quite sure I'm going to just hide out in academia for a few years and hope that the Obama administration equals more green jobs by the time I'm 33 or 34.

Alright, I stand to get less than five hours of sleep at this point, and as good as that might be for trying again to reset my body clock, it's going to feel really rough. So it's off to bed with me, and if anyone out there is actually reading this, please cross your fingers, pray, or do what you want to help me either be promptly accepted to school or get a nifty federal job. Thanks!

Another day, another possibility for reinvention.

2009-02-09T17:25:00.002-07:00

After much pointless and wasteful looping around the master-planned community, I finally saw it gleaming in the shimmery partly-cloudy desert sky. It spread out massively, all by itself, atop a bladed lot that was still in the process of being landscaped and still held various road graders and construction implements. I wasn't too sure it was the place, for another similar fortress down the road had already faked me out as I slowly cruised between the cones and caution tape dividing up the road. I had one more opportunity to turn left before it was too late, and then I saw the entrance sign that answered my question: In bold red and white, "Target.com Fulfillment Center". The parkway leading to the enormous warehouse was long and curving, and parking guides were stationed occasionally along it to aid the hundreds, perhaps thousands, of wannabe employees. In the seemingly miles-wide parking lot, cars were parked a bit haphazardly as people tried to fit their vehicles into the extra long big-rig spaces. Once I parked and alighted with my materials, I approached the warehouse door, which was one tiny portal in the endless wall of the building. Near me a man in a suit carrying a briefcase casually asked me what position I was applying for. I said that I wasn't sure and I would see what they had. He looked like an unemployed higher-up of some kind and accordingly grumbled, "At this point, I'll scrape rocks for a living." I'd actually applied online a few weeks ago for a logistics coordinator position, but I haven't been feeling confident about my chances, based both on my application and on the availability of such positions. The ads have been pushing the labor positions, which top out at $14.75 an hour. When I entered the building, I checked in at a makeshift registration table and picked up a hard copy of my online application. Great, a chance to see how badly it came out. It actually wasn't so bad except for my reason for leaving my last job: "Was terminated without explanation--" and then it was cut off. Oh well, I was there now and I would just see what they had to say. There were very few people around, even in the "presentation room" that they'd sectioned off with stacks of pallets. This was odd, but after a short presentation about the company and the job duties, we were directed to another part of the warehouse for pre-screening ...and there were the teeming hundreds. A manager wheeled a cart with cardboard boxes over to where I was standing in the serpentine line and took people's applications. She explained that we could stay in line to complete the pre-screening today or she could give us an appointment card to return tomorrow. Several of us chose this option, so tomorrow it will be my task to arrive at least an hour before my appointment time, and that will be preceded by a forty-five-minute commute. Sigh, another day potentially wasted. If I actually got a job there, I'd be moving as soon as possible because that commute is just not worth it.

Being unemployed seems to entail so much waiting. Besides waiting for the right job opportunity to come along, traditionally those collecting benefits have had to wait in lines (I won't have to in this online, plugged-in era, though). There's the waiting at the unemployment office to apply for benefits. Waiting for assistance with setting up an account with Workforce Connection. Waiting in line to have questions answered. Waiting on the phone to file claims. Waiting for benefits to kick in. Waiting at the welfare office to sign up for state health insurance, food stamps, or what have you. I think the only reason I was finally helped with my health insurance application was that the office was going to close soon. Now to wait for the state to accept or reject my application. Feh.

"I'm down, looking fo' upness. He's cold, watchin' fo' heat. That trick, go fill his cupness. That's life on Rosacoke Street.

"Some girls, they are a-sellin' 'til they get back on their feet. But Lee, he ain't a-tellin'. Aahhh, that's life on Rosacoke Street."

--Lee Hazlewood, "Rosacoke Street"

Ahh! I need my own admin assistant.

2009-02-06T14:40:00.003-07:00

If you ignore the speech bubbles and just look at the people with their hair on fire, that's how I feel right now. At least it's not the same emergency circumstances that I always felt on a Friday at my former employer. For all of the financial worry, it's such a relief to not be there anymore. Today I actually received a call from someone who saw my Craig's List ad for basic resume services, which freaked me out, but my excuse for being caught off-guard with him was that I was on my way out to an appointment. Gotta work on staying calmer. I called him later to chat but it was a bad time for him, so that gives me time to refine my policies and procedures. He plans to call back tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully this will turn out well.

The appointment I was on my way to was an orientation for prospective canvassers for the Arizona League of Conservation Voters. For my one blog follower, this would be a job similar to the folks you've seen representing MassPIRG who solicit signatures and donations on the street or on college campuses. It's not my strength, but the irony is that it would unite my exposure to public relations with my career goals, so I'm taking it as a cosmic sign to take action. It's a part-time commission-based gig, so I won't be able to live off of it, but it's a resume builder, in fact an ideal transitional gig, and it's better than no income at all. Speaking of the irony of not being able to escape PR, I've also volunteered my experience to another public policy organization and will be meeting with a committee chair on Monday to get started with distributing a press release. Sigh, no escaping PR.

I decided not to try to set up shop at the nearby free-for-all farmers' market and craft sale tomorrow, as I don't have enough merchandise to feel confident about selling it, but I will stop by as a visitor. I've also been in touch with a local artist who thought she'd try to sell at the swap meet herself, didn't meet with success, and is now hosting an art yard sale at her house tomorrow. I'm going to stop by and perhaps we can eventually collaborate, since I had the same idea.

As for applying for jobs, I've been lax the last two days in an effort to crank out some more crafts and take care of other business, but I did at least submit a resume to the local bicycle art and repari co-op. If anyone out there is familiar with the Student Union at UMass, you'll recognize the names Bike Co-op and Student Union Craft Center. This organization that's hiring combines those two efforts and is pretty well-known around town for promoting bike transportation as a result. It would be very nifty to be able to work for them.

Well, for now it's off to the gym, then Carl's show, and then to peek in the door of a party late tonight and see if it's worth spending arms and legs for a cover charge. Phew, five HUNDRED things to do, I swear.

Seemingly perpetually brain-fried.

2009-02-04T19:08:00.002-07:00

I wouldn't say that the job search is exactly tiring, but this time around it seems truer than ever that searching for a job is itself a full-time job. I guess it's mentally fatiguing. I feel like I'm turning into a mush-mind, my eyes are dry and red from so much staring at an LCD screen, and I'm not getting enough sunlight. I'm wracking my brain to no end and gradually adding less and less desirable possibilities to my search criteria. My unemployment benefits status is still up in the air and the only money that's actually come in was $5 from my neighbor to chip in for gas use, and I spent almost all of it on food. I finally applied to the Customs and Border Protection job yesterday, as well as the National Park Service. I found a part-time secretarial job with the University that I applied to late last night. Today has been more of a research day that has included emailing myself leads from all over Craig's List (I'm talking nationwide here), calling the temp agencies that haven't returned my calls, and researching federal jobs near and far. I haven't done much in the way of crafts, which I need to correct because it looks like I'll probably be able to bring some items to a nearby farmers' market on Saturday morning. I also need to get cracking on poetry submissions to the publishing company that's been soliciting them on Craig's List. Friday I'll be attending an orientation downtown for people interested in working as canvassers for the Arizona League of Conservation Voters. It sounds like a MassPIRG-type of job and I imagine a lot of college students and young idealists will be there. Hopefully it will be something I'll want to try.

Sigh ...I hope that tomorrow is as warm and sunny as today was (82 degrees!) so I can go camp out at the park with my crocheting and writing. Still so much else to do ...

Monday Fresh Start

2009-02-02T23:13:00.002-07:00

I took yesterday as strictly a play day with no activities that had any moneymaking goals. We drove out in the desert and walked around a bit, then eventually ended up at the Native American portion of the gem show, where I squeezed out a little money to buy a Huichol folk art-inspired necklace. I managed not to fall asleep until I went to bed, which is significant because in order to break myself of my night-owl 2-to-10 sleep schedule, I stayed up all night Saturday night into Sunday morning. I haven't pulled an all-nighter like that in at least seven years, and I hope not to again. I still managed to sleep until almost ten this morning anyway.

Today's developments:

Opened email to find a recruitment letter for a pretty decent-sounding contract job with a computer engineering company. It'd be bitch work for a department within the company, but I think I'd be away from the front line, which sounds appealing at the moment.

Also received notification of a National Park Service opening up at Tonto National Monument. I can do the job and I think the only thing that would prevent me from scoring it would be people getting extra points on their questionnaire for being veterans or federal employees. Getting the job would require a potential logistical nightmare of relocation and extended separation from Carl, but it's important to apply.

Faxed transcript request form to UMass for U of A application and eventual application to Customs and Border Protection.

Was granted an indefinite extension on the get-rich seminar materials by Patty.

Tried calling temp agency again, had to leave message for the lady who called me, called them to see about coming in while I was right in the neighborhood, was told she was at lunch, ultimately never received a call back. Have not heard a thing from any of the other temp agencies; will call tomorrow. Can't help wondering if it's because they're horribly busy or if I've been blacklisted. Trying not to obsess or feel paranoid.

Continued on to DES office to figure out what to use their Workforce Connection program for. Finished compiling online resume in their database, then had a private session with a representative in which I found out that I was supposed to have filed claims for the last two Sundays and I didn't because I thought I had to wait until DES decided whether or not I am eligible for unemployment benefits. Database on her computer showed that the "issues" are still pending. Feeling quite worried about having to face my former boss at a hearing.

Discovered that a new gallery downtown is not only seeking work for three upcoming shows, but also art and craft items to sell in their boutique. Already know what to submit for the first show and have ideas for the boutique.

So, in conclusion, today's "accomplishments":
burned more fuel (slept too late to make taking the bus worth it)
spent more money on craft supplies
spent more money on a snack because I was getting dangerously hungry
updated resume to submit for NPS job
...and absolutely nothing truly useful. Maybe it was just a weekend hangover, so I sure hope to accomplish much more tomorrow. I don't think any other unemployed period in my short life has been this busy, it's like putting in ten or eleven hours a day, six or seven days a week. Almost every activity is executed with the big question, "How will this make me money?" I'm so tired of just trying to survive; maybe that's a sign I need to go to school for sure, get it all over with, and emerge all shiny and smart so I can get a real job before I'm forty.

No news is bad news.

2009-02-01T05:35:00.002-07:00

It's been a few days since I last posted because there really haven't been any developments. I played phone tag with a U of A advisor, tried to visit him and missed him, and went to the Customs & Border Patrol job fair yesterday morning only to spend hardly any time there because there wasn't much to learn that I didn't already know. Carl and I went to the Peace Center's annual fundraising spaghetti dinner to do some networking, but I couldn't figure out how to approach anyone and randomly chat them up. One of the temp agencies called me in the middle of my Saturday afternoon workout at the gym and when I tried to return the call, I let it ring and ring and no voicemail picked up at either number that I tried. None of the stores I've applied to have called and none of the temp agencies other than the aforementioned one have called at all, which is very unusual. The one I'd been working with before I even lost my job never called back to schedule an appointment. I received a special empty "prepaid" debit card in the mail from Chase that will eventually be credited with unemployment money, if I'm even granted any. I scoured Craig's Lists for quite a few cities beyond Tucson for jobs that could be done at a distance, found three, sent responses, and am awaiting word, if any, from them. There seem to be no jobs that I can do or am willing to do. A scary observation, too, is that on public bulletin boards and on Craig's List, I'm seeing an awful lot of people pimping themselves out for all kinds of labor, ranging from housework to metaphysical and spiritual work. It's like the proverbial man selling apples on a street corner during the Great Depression. I thought about posting my own ad listing my jill-of-all-trades skills but it seems like a cop-out and I feel like there must be a better temporary solution. Meanwhile, I went to the Casbah last night and it was full of gem show vendors and groupies, and I overheard one man talking about how he was expecting to rake in a couple thousand dollars on Tuesday alone. No fair ...

Still yet to do:

Respond to increasingly unappealing job opportunities that I keep emailing to myself.

Request college transcripts to be sent to CBP and the U of A.

Apply to CBP jobs and to the U of A.

Finish reading and listening to the get-rich seminar package borrowed from former client.

Call that jewelry lady downtown and find out if her job opening has been filled.

Try calling temp agencies.

Crank out crafts to haul to the Casbah to try and sell alongside gem show vendors.

Hold onto your jobs, it's seriously scary out here these days.

The Mid-Week Slump

2009-01-28T21:32:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was the first morning I woke up feeling stressed, as though reality had finally set in and I was no longer on vacation. I finished and printed my packet for the hippie shop job, ran over there after some fits and starts, and then ran back home to completely shift gears: I put on makeup, put my hair in a clip, and put on my tweed suit and black pumps. I didn't make it to the job fair on time, but since it was four hours long, I didn't think I'd miss anything substantial. Well, it turned out that I may have been better for it because downtown was absolutely mobbed, and the Daily Star said it was even worse before the thing officially opened: http://www.azstarnet.com/sn/biz-topheadlines/277799

It took me at least a half an hour to finally get into a parking space and get inside, and then it took some time waiting in line just to get into the event. When I finally broke free into the convention center's main floor, it was like trying to walk through a crowded dance club. The companies and agencies there really reflected the depressed economy, particularly Tucson's brand of it: For-profit adult-education trade colleges, call centers, grocery stores, convenience stores, bank teller jobs, military recruiting, vocational rehab and training programs, and social services. There was only one company that truly interested me and all they had to offer were skilled labor jobs, which I wish I could do but I don't have any training. So there was nary a job in sight that I could either perform or aspire to. Many, many people were not dressed in business clothing either. It was so busy that there were almost no opportunities for one-on-one conversations or interviews. I came away rather disgruntled at my wasted expensive resume paper, business cards, parking money, fuel, and time. On the way home, I called the neighborhood tea house to ask about applying, and when I got home, I changed my clothes, turned around, and went over there to pick up an application.

The crowning event of the day was a dressy, elaborate orientation up in the OV that I attended with Carl at his recommendation. We were surrounded by men in fancy suits and spiky hair, and women in high heels and makeup. We were glad we'd put on some nice clothes and that I'd left my makeup on. We learned all about a service that, honestly, I truly think is a good product and very reasonably priced. In fact, I'd heard of it a few months ago and have been considering purchasing it for myself since then. Carl is almost certain that he wants to take the plunge and invest in the materials with which to start selling, and though it makes me nervous, I believe in it enough that I support his inclination to try it.

As of the end of today, I still have no job and no unemployment benefits, and I have doubts that I'll be granted any benefits. I started the day by driving down to the Microbusiness Advancement Center to attend their weekly orientation and only found out that the event had been cancelled. So I headed towards home and turned in my teahouse application on the way. I have doubts about that as well because of my response to "reason for leaving". I think I gave too much negative information. After calling the contact at the appealing affiliate program I discovered a few days ago, I went down to the University to walk in and out of a few buildings and check bulletin boards. I turned up very little except for the name of an advisor in the School of Natural Resources with whom I could speak about starting as a full-time non-traditional undergraduate student. I found that out by walking into the main office of that building and enduring the frowns of the ladies behind the counter as I explained my situation. Eventually I made it home and turned around to go back with Carl to the Microbusiness Advancement Center for their 5:30 orientation. I came away from that feeling more torn than ever: resume school full-time, launch a business, or keep trying for a day job that is likely to be unfulfilling and only delay my goals further? I need something to happen that will push me in one direction or the other, and preferably not in the unfulfilling-job direction. And I need some money, damnit! I'm dyin' here.

No longer calling them "anti-unemployment" measures because I'm so torn between running a business and working for the Man.

2009-01-27T00:14:00.002-07:00

So I went to the neighborhood teahouse to sniff around and see if I'd want to work there, and I concluded that I would, but am skittish about going ahead with it because of potentially either quitting prematurely to take a "real" job or shutting out a "real" job altogether due to the required hours. I think I'll call them tomorrow for the heck of it to ask about the job anyway. I'll call the jewelry shop too and see if they still need someone.

From there I went over to the University and, as directed by neighbor M, went up to the third floor of the School of Natural Resources and, as promised, found a job board. In fact, as I descended the stairs to leave the building, I found a few boards of interesting information at each landing and jotted down several things. Hopefully something will materialize.

This evening we went to visit our 4th Avenue friend and while in that neighborhood, I observed a "Help Wanted" sign in the door of the local hippie head shop. After we came home, I called them to ask about it and was told to create my own job application, since they seek creative types. The most logical thing I could come up with was a multi-page packet containing an abbreviated resume on a background of my own design (see the photo posted with today's first entry), plus a few pages of other creative photos and graphic designs. I have no idea if it's what they want, but I'm going to turn it in anyway because their scheduling is so flexible that if they actually hired me, I could moonlight there a couple of evenings a week while still looking for a "real" job. I do wish I could re-brand myself as an artist, though. I don't know how people do it. I just can't stop fantasizing about running a craft center and tool lending library while selling artwork and maybe moonlighting at an artsy place one day a week. I figure that logically, the natural resources thing and art thing aren't mutually exclusive, but when it comes to finding an immediate solution, the art thing is proving more accessible. I don't know which, if either, is a better path, but I do take seriously the results of a career aptitude test I once took a few years ago: it told me I was supposed to be a sculptor. I don't think that's the least bit far-fetched other than as an economic reality. I guess whichever pans out first will be my primary concern and the other path will support it.

Now, let's not forget about the job fair tomorrow, which I'm still not ready for! Thank goodness it's not until two in the afternoon.

Survival Ideas for Today

2009-01-26T12:13:00.002-07:00

Someone responded to my Craig's List ad for lemons, so rather than setting them out again on the sidewalk, I left him a voicemail and an email to arrange for a pickup of a bulk quantity of lemons. I had to admit that the lemons are of the "rough" variety, lumpy and unevenly colored (and "rough" is an actual variety), so he may be turned off, but the lemons are perfectly good and last year I used them as I would the nicer-looking Lisbon and Meyer varieties that are available in stores. Hopefully he'll still want them and I can make about $16 that way at $4 per plastic shopping bag (bulk discount from the 25 cents apiece I was looking for). Someone emailed me about knitting lessons, but I had to confess that I can only teach rudiments and that, based on her skill level, she'd be better off with someone closer to the Master Knitter stage of expertise. If I could just find a way to make a residual income and thus free up lots of time for education, I'd go ahead and sign up for the Craft Yarn Council's courses and become a certified Master Knitter and teacher. I finally heard from the folks at DesertUSA and am going to look over my photo essay one more time and submit it. Hopefully it'll be good enough for publishing and earn me $200. When I finally get out the door, I'll be going down to the U of A to sniff around and then to that Sam Hughes teahouse to see if it's a place I'd want to work and if they're even still hiring. Then Carl and I will be finishing the day with a trip across town to pick up some scrap wood that I can turn into artwork and sell at the Swap Meet, at the Myriad, and on Etsy. I'll also figure out a way to spread the word about my being an affiliate of AAA Native Arts and maybe people would want to buy some of that merchandise. Yes, conspicuously absent from all of this is a job search. I'm not ignoring that completely, I'm still going to research the companies that will be attending tomorrow's job fair and I have to go down to the unemployment office today anyway to turn in paperwork. It's just that I need some quick cash because to do nothing while searching for a job will make things worse, I'm pretty sure. Also conspicuously absent is schoolwork. I'll be checking on that too, don't worry. For now, though, I'm getting my arse out the door to start all of this activity.

Today's Efforts

2009-01-25T22:44:00.002-07:00

1. Set out this silly thing on the sidewalk in front of my house. Didn't sell a thing and now I have a ton of lemons that need to be dealt with ASAP before they go bad.

2. Applied for a job at the Target Distribution Center in Rita Ranch. Faced humbling questions about what my most recent employer would have to say about my work ethic and attitude. Probably not going to hear from them based on the one bad job experience on my resume.

3. Discovered that the Local Harvest Market has a very laid-back farmers' market daily with its most popular day being Saturday. Still need to speak with store manager, but it sounds like I could just show up with merch and camp out for a few hours on a Saturday.

4. Resolved to gather up old goods, crafts, etc. and set up shop with Carl on Saturday at the Swap Meet.

5. Called person who posted Craig's List ad for a paid study. Didn't hear anything yet.

Wham! Another door slams and leaves me without income.

2009-01-25T11:26:00.003-07:00

Yesterday seemed to hold so much promise: I submitted an application to have my artwork reviewed by a local shop, said shop held a reception last night, and I got a call from someone who had a job opening. I even found a merchandise affiliate program that I could actually believe in. As I looked around art galleries and drank wine out on the town, I fantasized about getting by and even doing well just by being an artsy-fartsy type. Then today I got the rejection call from the gem show people and I'm having doubts about my art submission. I want to somehow survey the market and find out if people would be interested in the merchandise sold by the affiliate program, and I'm afraid I won't get any responses. One glimmer of hope, though, is that I talked to my neighbor M about job postings at the University in his department, the School of Natural Resources, and he told me how to find the job board and has started forwarding me emails that he gets that contain job opps, scholarships, internships, and the like. I guess I'd better get those lemons picked and set out in the driveway, and I'd better finish up my craft projects and get them posted already. Nickels and dimes are still income.

Anti-Unemployment Day-End Review

2009-01-23T22:56:00.002-07:00

1. Interviewed with temp agency that originally placed me at my last job, made sure that they knew that they were the ones who placed me there, and partially explained my termination. Don't know how much that could hurt my chances.

2. Visited with former client to see how they were doing and was told that maybe, just maybe, they could use my help with some of their work. Expressed interest in this and left my contact information.

3. Found last-minute gem show gig and called and left message, according to instructions in ad. Hoping that I get it because it would be decent money and a chance to meet interesting people.

4. Received email rejection note from U of A about the School of Natural Resources job. Wonder if it was my firing or something else that triggered such a quick response. I thought my cover letter and education would surely win them over.

Starting to despair over this whole thing ...

Networking, and I feel better established than I have before.

2009-01-23T12:47:00.003-07:00

Working in the business of people and clients and vendors does have its upside as a networking advantage. After going to the temp agency this morning, I realized I was in the same neighborhood as a former client of my last employer. This quirky New Age-oriented client had greatly fascinated me and I'd always wished that I could get to know them better, particularly the girl my age who ran the retail arm of the organization. I thought I'd stop in and see what they were up to and how everyone was. The administrative assistant was the only one in the office, but I'm acquainted with her and the founders on a first-name basis, so I was happy to see her and chat. She invited me to settle in with a cup of tea and got caught up on things, including my new employment status. She actually mentioned that sometimes she has too much work and that there really should be someone to concentrate on coordinating research efforts for their metaphysical mission, and it was just a thought but might I be interested? I stayed low-key but assured her that, yes, while it's just a thought right now, I'd be very interested in helping out if they so desired. We exchanged contact information and when the time was right, I left. The truth is, I'd wondered what it would be like to work for them even just a few months into my tenure at my last job, so I would be very pleased to do whatever they'd want me to do. It would be an extremely unique organization to work for, at the least.

Okay, a few more shameless plugs and then it's way past my bedtime.

2009-01-23T00:12:00.003-07:00

http://fethernutter.etsy.com
http://brainonfire.mosaicglobe.com

Summary of Anti-Unemployment Measures Taken Today.

2009-01-22T22:17:00.004-07:00

1. Applied for unemployment benefits at the nearest unemployment office. Began an online resume with their system there; need to go back and finish.

2. Called temp agency with whom I've recently been in contact and left a message requesting an appointment. Left message at Manpower next.

3. Contacted entrepreneurial acquaintance for inspiration for starting a business. Spoke to her significant other in person this afternoon with promises to get in touch later.

4. Called DesertUSA yet again to only be turned away by incessantly ringing phone, yet again. If I could just ask a human being a frickin' question, I could send them my photo essay and possibly make $200! Gah!

5. Registered for Jobing.com job fair on Tuesday the 27th. Yeah, timing!

6. Posted Craig's List ad for rudimentary knitting lessons.

7. Called as many nearby temp agencies as I could reach. Mixed results ranging from an immediate, friendly request for a resume, to being informed of a waiting list. Talked to agency that originally sent me to last employer and arranged to go in tomorrow morning. I won't give them too much of an earful, but I think I will tell them that yet another one bit the dust at that company and they should take the hint.

8. Went out with Carl to post business cards for resume proofing in strategic spots along 4th Avenue. Kept eyes open for job openings at quirky businesses along the avenue. Noticed that the "help wanted" sign had been removed from my favorite clothing store (bummer). Bumped into a couple of busking, gem-show attending hippie guys and wished I could be as free as them. Couldn't help noticing applications prominently displayed at Circle K near house and imagined living the "Clerks" life.

9. Sought out temporary gem show gigs in hopes of meeting all kinds of hippies while selling cool gemstones. Dreamed about being out there in dreadlocks and a broomstick skirt and thought about 6-day-old job posting I saw on Craig's List. May check into it, maybe not. Hoped that manager of downtown import shop will call me to discuss working as a jewelry assembler (already sent resume yesterday).

10. Received email notification that my score on the questionnaire section of the application for the National Park Service job I want wasn't high enough. No soup for me! Just another federal rejection letter, but still disappointing.

11. Made the rounds of the Arizona and New Mexico Craig's Lists, usual other job search engines (Monster, Careerbuilder, etc.). Nothing.

12. Tried employment pages of local college websites and cursed the fact that the concentration of schools here is the opposite of the million colleges all over Massachusetts. Then, a spark of hope: a part-time, temporary admin assistant position with the U of A's School of Natural Resources/Sonoran Desert Research Station! Absolutely the lowest on the totem pole, but a possible foot in the door! I created a new cover letter and special resume just for the position and got my application in immediately.

And now it's almost eleven at night and I'm brain-fried and the house is a nasty mess. I'm signing off for now after this action-packed day and will return tomorrow after visiting the temp agency.

Guerilla capitalism and the "bottomfeeder".

2009-01-22T15:46:00.002-07:00

Here's a very interesting, rambling, quirky Internet resource for avoiding working for the establishment and thriving on little: www.masterjules.net/index6.htm

I've been reading Anita Sands Hernandez' webpages for months now and I'm glad I did. I'll be revisiting them and hopefully implementing some ideas, though ultimately I may end up working at a regular job, especially if I intend to pursue my education and make something of it.

Another, much more mainstream and clean-cut resource is www.StevePavlina.com.

Happy reading!

Release the penguins!

2009-01-22T15:37:00.005-07:00

Anyone out there familiar with "Faeries Aire and Death Waltz"? What an unpleasant title. It's a fake piece of music circulated among musicians as a joke that is full of absurd passages and cues that don't exist in real life. One of these cues reads "Release the penguins!" That's how I feel about my sudden opportunity to unleash all manner of crackpot schemes in hopes that one of them could prove financially lucrative. Behold my latest business cards.

FIRED.

2009-01-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

So begins my umpteenth Internet presence. I think at this point anyone can search for my name on Google and find myriad extensions of my real-world existence all over the web.

Anyway, again,

FIRED.

As a result of conspiracy, the inherent witchiness of an office of mostly women, downsizing, or what have you, at eight o'clock Mountain Standard Time this morning I was summarily

FIRED.

This is the first time that this has ever happened to me and for my whole two years there, I wondered when it would be my turn. I managed to survive turnover and even got promoted. Then someone was laid off, I ended up with the workload of at least one and a half people, couldn't keep up, and was offered little support and no performance feedback until it was almost too late. I made an effort to turn things around, in spite of burnout, and just when I thought I was in the clear, I was turned loose this morning and refused an explanation.

So begins a new chronicle of picking up the pieces. I've heard that people can make money off of their blogs, so what the heck, I thought I'd give it whirl. I haven't figured out what about it would generate income, but at the very least I needed a place to show off some artwork I created a few years ago when I was unemployed due to relocation. The cost of a paper 'zine will have to be avoided during unemployment, so I'll attempt a blog instead.